Friday, October 28, 2016

Educational Snacks

In the public school system, everything must have educational value.
Nothing is off limits, including lunch.

The cafeteria is lined with banners displaying the names of all Kentucky colleges.
This is meant to inspire young scholars to pursue a higher education.

Even the food is educational.
 Cookies display the names of presidents and interesting facts about them.

Can't you hear the promotional advertising?

Hello there, President Obama...

The cookie package is even labeled as educational!
Because we know that labeling cookies as educational 
will inspire fourth graders.

 But somehow the very people trying to inspire my son to greatness
 have unwittingly thrust him once again
 into the gutters of junior high impropriety.

Who names fourth grade cookies DICK & Jane??????????????????

Is that not stupid? 

 I recovered from that tidbit of stupidity 
only to be flummoxed once again 
when my sweet son happily shared the back of his bag of presidential cookies.

Yes, folks.  It's true.

You see. Dick and Jane are real people with a real passion for education. 
Dick runs a baking company.  Jane is a teacher. 
Dick likes to run.  Jane likes to walk.


wait for it.....

Dick is allergic to.......what else......


Cue the uncontrollable giggling from the fourth grade boys' lunch table.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.


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