Thursday, January 14, 2016


I have learned a thing or two during my sixteen year stint as a parent.

Here in no particular order are a few of my more stellar parenting insights.

- Multitasking is a basic survival skill for all mothers.  It become something of a game when it involves being on hold simultaneously on a cell phone and land line.  It's a bit like playing the lottery trying to guess on which phone you will hear a live person first.

 - The length of time it takes to assemble a toy is inversely proportional to the time a child will spend playing with it.

An hour to assemble - Five minutes playing with it

- A dog has infinitely more patience than a mother.  Remington has been licking the marrow from this bone for almost a year.  In that amount of time, I would have gone certifiably insane trying to accomplish such a simple task.

- Laundry will NEVER fold itself.

 - When kids are deprived of electronics long enough, they get creative.
One stick, one sock, catnip and bells made for a lot of kitty fun

 Example #2 of creative boredom

- Little girls grow up way too fast.

- Barbequed turtle for dinner is a guaranteed way to save on groceries. Given the minimal amount eaten last night, I should get approximately 279 meals from one cooker of meat.  Yum.

- A teenager's phone is fully charged and in their hand at all times.  Unless their mother is trying to call them.

- Big girls never outgrow their love of animals...especially very tiny animals.

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