Friday, December 4, 2009

Avoidance Parenting

Step 1:  Ignore state of total disarray of all children in your care.

Step 2:  Load children into vehicle.

Step 3:  Drive to nearest cheap restaurant with a playground.

Step 3.5:  Use older daughter's dirty sock found under car seat for younger son when you realize you managed to grab only three little socks on the way out the door.

Step 4:  Feed loud restless children whatever they want from the menu.

Step 5:  Let kids play while eating, ignoring the multitude of germs they are ingesting by doing so.

Step 5.5:  Fail to notice the sign clearly stating that socks must be worn.  Fail also to notice four year old daughter has removed her socks to better climb UP the slide.

Step 6:  Act as if children belong to another parent when they start acting like normal ugly.

Step 7:  Pretend to not notice two year old son eating fries from the floor.

Step 8:  Remain calm when two year old emerges from playground restroom with jeans in one hand and underwear in the other proudly announcing "I went pee, Mom!!"

Step 9:  Ignore sounds of laughter rippling around you as you quickly redress your two year old.

Step 10:  Quickly exit the building counting to ensure all required children are with you.

Step 11:  Arrive home in time for BED!

Step 11.5:  Threaten dire consequences  on any ten year old that is not in bed in exactly fifteen minutes.

Step 12:  Act disappointed when four year old and two year old say they are too tired for a book tonight.

Step 13:  Do a little dance that the night is over.

Step 14:  Say a little prayer that all will sleep late in the morning!

Yep, it was one of THOSE days.
Off to bed, goodnight.


  1. for the record, awake before seven in the morning!! He's out to get me I swear.