More Grantisms

Grant:  Can I have some smoshmellows?

Mom:  How many do you want?

Grant:  Lots!!

Mom:  How old are you?

Grant: This many. (holding up three fingers)

Mom:  Then you can have three marshmallows.

Grant:  No, I'm this many. (holding up five fingers now)

Mom:  (feeling benevolent) Then I guess you can have five marshmallows. (handing over five marshmallows)

Grant:  (feeling lucky)  No, I'm this many!!! (drops five marshmallows and holds up ten fingers)

Mom:  You're ten??

Grant: Yeah, I'm ten. Now gimme ten smoshmellows.

Mom:  I thought you were three.

Grant:  I'm three at Grandma's house.  I'm ten at home. (that's another whole conversation we've had before!)

By the way, he got the ten marshmallows.  I'm a pushover.

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Mom:  What are you doing outside, Grace?

Grace: Playing with the hose.

Mom:  What are you squirting with it?

Grace:  (stating the obvious) Water!!

Mom:  No, WHERE are you squirting your water?

Grace: (not understanding) Outside!!

Mom:  No, Grace.....What are you hitting with the water you are squirting out of the hose outside??

Grace:  Nothing. (runs outside)

OK, I gave up at this point. It's only water, right?  Actually she was squirting her water out of the hose and hitting her brother with it.  He stomped in presently soaked and very angry!  Maybe I'll follow through more thoroughly next time......

maybe not.

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Scene:  Another sunny day at the Shupeville Zoo.  Grant sitting at the table in the playroom busy playing.  Enter Mother stage right.....

Mom:  Have you seen Grace?

Grant:  Don't look at what I'm doing!! (covering the table with his body)

Mom: (now curious) What did  you do?

Grant:  It was an accident!

 Mom:  (only in my head...not out loud)  No, son, THIS is not an accident.  YOU were the accident! :-)

Sigh.

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 Grant:  (coming into the bathroom) Can you fill these water balloons.

Mom:  You cannot do water balloons in the house.  You have to take them outside.

Grant:  (stomping off mad)  But I can't find the bathroom outside!!

Mom:  You don't need a bathroom to fill them outside.

Grant:  But I can't use the PEE!!!

 sigh again

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 Grace:  (said while Grant sits atop a pillow atop of Grace's head)  Grant, MOVE.  I'm not breathing!!

Grant:  Sorry, it was an accident.  (notice a pattern here?)

Grace:  (most indignant about the ordeal)  Don't you know I need oxygen? (I have no idea where that came from.)

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 Grant: (stomping off to his room)  This house is driving me cwazy!!  (yeah, already there buddy!)