Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Peculiar Parenting 101 - Part 1

Sometimes kids do the darndest things. 

Sometimes parents do the strangest things.

Yesterday was both.

I was way past crazy on my MOM METER.  I just wanted to get out of the house and well, just GET OUT!!

The kids had been pretty good, but they were getting as crazy as I was.  I decided to load them up and make good on a promise to my two school kids. 

I refuse to spend money at the school book fair.  It is my personal boycott because I am so shocked at some of the book content they make available to elementary students.  I've made my kids take back more than one book that was WAY too mature (and just downright creepy) for young eyes.  Therefore, I don't let them spend money anymore at the fair.  Instead I've promised to take them to the bookstore or the used bookstore and spend an equal amount of money there.  They get books.  I get to boycott PTA bookfair.  Life is good.

Not so fast though.  This trip to the bookstore turned out to be WAY more than I bargained for. 

For starters, I drove to three stores before I found one open due to the bad weather.  No problem.  By the time I arrived at the final store, Grant had dozed off seeing as how it was late afternoon.  No problem again.

I went ahead and sent the two big kids and Grace into the store and proceeded to wake Grant up.  I bundled him in his coat instead of taking the time to put it on him and zip it up.  No problem. 

By the time we got in the store, he was wide awake and ready to go find the Thomas the train table that is always there for little ones to play with.  He was EXCITED when he figured out where we were.  He wanted down so I let him get down and walk.  No problem.

Then he turned around and said "My tummy hurts."  In that moment his face had turned a lovely shade of green.  Now I had a problem.

I knew he was going to be sick, but what is a Mom to do?  The only thing possible.  I calmly knelt down and held the hood of his coat open and caught the mess.  I then proceeded to roll it up and move on down the aisle to notify the other kids of a change in plans (namely getting the heck out of Dodge before he did a repeat performance).

Too late.  He said, "My tummy still hurts!"  We got the coat unrolled just in time to fill the ENTIRE COAT with......well, you know.  I don't mention that word on my blog anymore. Remember what happened last time? 

There I sat, three kids shopping.  One kid sick and a coat full of "stuff".  I sent John to the checkout to get a bag, stuffed the coat into the bag and proceeded to let the kids shop.  Grant seemed fine.  I wrote it off as just something disagreeing with him since he'd been fine before now.

He played with trains.  The others picked books to buy.  All was well once again.  At least until we were in the car on the way home.  Grant again shared some "stuff" with us in the car. 

That smell is so hard to get rid of.  I've always said if anyone ever puked in my car I was trading cars the next week.

I'll be at the dealership just as soon as this snow is gone.

I won't be returning to the book store any time soon.  I think they got me on surveillance camera.  They probably have my picture posted by the door as an "undesirable" customer.


Oh, he's fine.  He puked about every twenty minutes all night long.  He finally quit about one in the morning.  Today he's going strong again.


They do the darndest things.

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